Mix-up & Happiest Toddler Book News 1/19/09

Reese had a little make-up mix-up the other day. She got my black eye liner mixed up with lip liner. Ooops. This is what happens if you get those two things confused. I thought it was pretty hysterical. I think someone really loves make-up! What a little girly girl!
As for the "Happiest Toddler....." book I'm reading, I've been pleased with its content. I appreciate the explanation in the book of how our precious toddler is thinking and how her brain is developing and why she might think and react the way she does at her age and also it explains this all the way up until age five. I also appreciate the techniques that are suggested with examples to accompany them. It helps give a much clearer picture of how to deal with certain situations that we might encounter with Reese, such as her getting upset over something she might want that she can't have. Zack and I both agree that Reese has been overly happy and we've experienced very few acts of upsetness. I truly believe that it has a lot to do with how we talk to her and how we've been using these techniques we're learning.
We still make sure to talk to Reese very respectfully. We also make it a point to talk to her a lot when she's upset about something so she knows we aren't disregarding her feelings. Alot of parents spend little time talking and comforting their little baby when they're mad or sad because they don't think they can understand.....the hard part is getting their attention when they're mad or sad. This is when their left brain shuts down and their primitive right brain takes over, which means special attention is needed from mommy and daddy and anyone around to make little baby feel better. It would take me too long to even summarize this book so I'll just give one good example from the book.
So Reese gets upset with mommy almost every time I have to tell her she can't climb on the table. She starts pulling out the chair to climb onto it first and then onto the table she goes. I have to tell her "No, Reese. You can't climb on the table. It's for eating on, not climbing. Mommy doesn't want you to get hurt." Well, all that info doesn't really seem important to her so she usually throws a small fit. So, I use some new techniques to get her attention and try to get her under control. I'll tell her "Reese, down down down. You must get down. Reese could get hurrrt, OUCHY, OUCHY!! Reese is very sad...." I know it sounds like caveman talk and that's because it kind of is. But getting Reese's attention when she's upset is always the hardest so using big expressions and making sad faces to communicate with her immature brain is what really works. And/or, shaking my head "no" very dramatically gets her attention too and I'll continue to talk in the same caveman like sentences. Then, once she's calm, which this technique usually works in seconds, then I can give her a brief explanation like I normally would, kind of adult like, and with tons of respect and she'll actually listen. I keep it short and sweet though. Then, I'll let her help mommy push the table chair back in and then give her good praise so she forgets about being upset and helps mommy put the table back together and she feels proud and like a good girl. What's funny is that we already talk to our babies in caveman sentences when we are proud of them..........we say "Oh yay baby! Mommy's so proud, proud, proud. Good job, good job." But, when baby is in trouble we go to our stern adult voices. I know I used to do that.......but not anymore. (P.S. this is the technique for my under two year old) Good communication with baby=baby/caveman talk when upset, respect, praise, praise, praise, positive words instead of the negative "your glass is half full, not half empty", calmness, love, love, love, expressions,etc........
:)